


Tokyo Soul

by MustardPirate



Series: The world after he's gone [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gangs, Gen, Hallusinations and dreams, Life is weird man, Not focused on romantic relationships, depressed Kaneki trying to figure out life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-14 02:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11773284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MustardPirate/pseuds/MustardPirate
Summary: The beginning, a starting point to become great.The weak, struggling to live, tend to turn to people that provide them with power.Was I one of them, the weak?Or was this my new beginning, a start of new life?No.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The parts that are in the center are memories.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Those we can conquer, those we can save, they are two different things.**

 

 

* * *

 

 He looks down on people. _Pesky, selfish creatures._  But he was no different from them. 

 

He lives his days in peace, not killing anyone nor hurting them.

_At least he's trying not to._

 

He's waiting for an end to come, to wash away the stains of his past...

to finally sing him to his eternal sleep. 

 

* * *

 

He wakes up. Not gently nor agilely but violently he twitches himself awake.

The sun hasn't risen yet, it's still dark. The curtains cover most of the window next to his bed, only a strip of outside is visible, he sees people leaving to work, buses coming and going. It's quiet, for now. In an hour or two the air will be filled with people's morning chatter, cars' honking, people yelling, steps on the pavement, heels, umbrellas opening, the sounds of life. Kaneki knows these sounds all too well. He has stayed here, in the apartment, for half a year, thinking of ending his life. Every day ends the same: He still keeps breathing in this murky air.

He didn't want this to happen. 

 

He swings himself up from the bed, he doesn't bother to brush his hair nor change his clothes, no one is there to see him.

He goes to the kitchen in his small apartment, most of the curtains are down, confining him in his own space. The coffee mugs in the sink could use some cleaning. He grabs his cleanest mug, the dried coffee on the bottom is still there from yesterday. He pours himself some more. The coffee that he made day before yesterday is now cold. 

He scrubs the sleep of his eyes and ruffles his hair, it has gotten to shoulder length, the white and black meet at his neck level. 

He sips from his coffee, some of it misses his mouth, dribbling down his neck to his shirt. The shirt that used to be white couple months ago got even darker. A fly buzzes around it, Kaneki swipes the stain, the fly still insists on landing onto his shirt. 

"Huh, how persistent" He says with his tired voice to himself and walks to the small living room. There's a small spot on the sofa where he is able to sit. Mountains and mountains of dirty clothes cover the floor and the furniture. 

He stares at nothing until his eyes catch attention of his phone, the screen is against the table surface. The battery died out few months ago due to Touka's constant messages that Kaneki never answered.

He touches the cover of it, trying to remember when he bought it. 

A memory surfaces, Hide is there.

_Hide._

_**Hide.** _

 

* * *

 

 

The vibration of incoming call. It goes for two minutes and then stops. Messages appear on the screen.

'Hey, I was trying to call you but you didn't answer...'

'I know it has been a month since your breakdown...'

'You need to eat something, tell me where you are ...'

It was silent for a moment.

'You know you can always talk to me.'

 

Kaneki turns the vibrations off from the settings. 

"Why does she like bothering me so much?" Kaneki exhales sharply to himself.

A hardcover book lays on his lap, two printed pages open in front of him, the smell of the old ink. He gently strokes the pages with his fingers, lightly running them over the words that tell so much. 

 

* * *

 

 

The newspaper today arrived two minutes later than yesterday.

The new bus that has been going through the road next to Kaneki's house for two weeks has new cracks on its windshield.

The biker that lives in the same apartment building with Kaneki, wears new shoes, before they were bright orange color, now they're charcoal black. 

The florist across the street puts up a new bouquet of yellow poppies and turns the 'closed' sign to 'open'.

 

He has stared at these walls for months now, six months, he knows every bulge in them, every misplaced nail from the previous owners, every spot where there once were picture frames, immortalized moments in history that would be forgotten otherwise. He himself hasn't hanged any pictures on the walls, not even one.

 

He doesn't know what to do now. He stopped reading at some point, they made him anxious, somehow reminding him of every mistake he ever made.

They weren't the comfort anymore that he had felt when he was a child, it didn't help, it only made him forget reality for a moment but after that it was just... feelings, coming at him. Stronger. 

 

He hears his stomach growling.

 

If he goes out, he will most likely eat a person. 

 

_So he won't._

 

But he needs food.

 

A pizza sounds disgusting.

 

He takes his phone and plugs it to a charger, the phone reacts and the screen lights up.

 

At some point, maybe a month ago, he stopped going out completely. His skin has become pale and he feels weak even though there's a strong substance coursing through his veins, making him unable to just end his life like a normal person.

 

"I don't care if I get caught by the police" He mumbles to himself, the sound he makes is louder than he imagined it.

 

_It wouldn't matter if he was killed for being a ghoul, just, anything that could make him be able to leave this world._

 

The noises the phone makes when it goes on, starting screen, numbers...

 

"What number...? I don't remember" 

 

 

He hears whispers in his ear.

 

"Oh yeah... right..."

 

He puts the numbers on.

 

He dials and shifts part of his long hair behind his ear as he makes the call.

 

"Hey, I would like to order a pizza... "

 

* * *

 

 

Even though he turned the vibrations off, the screen still displays part of her messages persistently.

_It's five months now._

He had to put it in to the living room, on the coffee table, screen-side down so it wouldn't bother him while he slept.

Sleep was his drug and he couldn't get it enough of it.

It was the thing closest to death, the only thing he could say he enjoyed.

 

-

 

He saw outside from the strip of the window that wasn't covered in curtain.

It was a sunny day.

The books beside his bed were getting dustier everyday.

He ran his finger across one of the books' cover,

some dust was caught on his fingertip.

He left the books as they were. 

Gathering dust.

Becoming forgotten.

Decomposing.

Slowly moving to the next stage in the cycle.

 

* * *

 

 

"You seem different, somehow" A voice echoes in his head.

"Let me dream in peace" Kaneki snaps.

"Oh, let me guess -sleep is your drug, right?"

Kaneki stays quiet, not denying it. He knows what the voice is, it's part of him.

"I want to keep my sanity at least, that's all the dignity I have left to live as a human"

"You're not human"

"I try to be"

"Huh? Well, do you remember the deliver-guy, you know, the blond, kinda short, brown eyes? How's that for trying to be human?"

The eyes that were wandering suddenly froze and horror that was brought back was crawling all over Kaneki's body. 

"You do" The voice answered for Kaneki.

 

* * *

 

 

_'I remember carrying his body in my arms,_

_putting him to his final resting place_

_under the cherry trees that had died few years ago,_

_where we played when we were children'_

His thoughts wandered.

 

His long hair was now on a messy ponytail.

Clothes were clean for now.

Yesterday had been a good day,

first shower in weeks,

the feeling of all dead skin and bacteria finally washing off of his skin.

 

With his index, he touched the book he had left there, on his nightstand. 

A dust layer covered his finger.

He opened the book, read a few lines and closed it.

It has been a long time since he read a book.

 

-

He looks around his house, trying to clean something because today was better than the normal days.

 

_Today he doesn't feel like he wants to kill himself or hurt himself so badly that he is never able to regain consciousness._

_It's month five now._

 

The apartment wasn't really as dirty as it could have been,

there could have been garbage all over the place,

blocking his way to drink his daily, black coffee,

but there wasn't.

And that was because he didn't need to buy food,

_he ate humans_

and humans don't come in plastic wrappers that could be scattered across the house. 

 

* * *

 

 

"What day is it?"

"Seven months from Hide's death"

"I didn't ask you. Stop bothering me when I'm awake"

"Well sorry, princess, but you were the one who started talking in the first place"

"Quiet!"

"No, that can't do. Hmm... let me see... Aah! the one in the park four months back, the trench-coat bird feeder, that one was delicious indeed"

"No, stop it"

"Oh, and just a month after your dear Hide's death, you devoured two people because you couldn't control yourself"

"STOP IT!" Kaneki shouts and his voice becomes raspy from it, the tears began streaming down.

"And still, my favorite has to be the delivery-guy. The utter horror on that boy's face was priceless. And I learned something new: You can indeed order fast food as a ghoul"

"Noo... stop it.." Kaneki pleads. He falls on his knees and presses his hands against his ears to stop him from hearing the voice. It doesn't work. It is in his head. Then a new voice joins the conversation.

"Aren't you tired of him?" The feminine voice says to the other voice.

"Very much so, but I cannot leave, like yourself" 

They quiet down. Kaneki looks around and doesn't expect to see anything but sees something utterly horrifying.

There is a tall woman standing in his living room. Her back facing him, long violet hair against the curves on her body. She has a white dress on, pink shoes. 

Then she turns around.

" _Oh?_   You took your time, I have been waiting for you"

Kaneki stays quiet. His eyes are fixated on her face, a small whisper leaves his lips, 'Rize' and nothing else. 

That was her name, the woman who changed his life.

 

* * *

 

The doorbell rings. The newspapers had piled up next to the door. He opens the door. 

"Here's your orde-" the deliver-guy was cut short as **his body is dragged inside by the red claws.**

The pizza box on his hand falls onto the floor, the door behind him shuts.

 

_Now there's only Kaneki and his food. The time has stopped for him in this moment, no right or wrong, just hunger that needs to be satisfied._

 

Before he even realizes he should shout, Kaneki **rips his jaw out,** he keeps the poor guy standing by pulling him by the blond hair.

The brown eyes, filled with despair, plead Kaneki to stop, silently.

The throat gargles as he almost **chokes on his own blood.**

Kaneki tilts the head a little bit, and not being able to control himself, **he digs in.**

First he **sinks his teeth** on to the boy's shoulder.

Then he **rips the arm off** and munches on it for a while as he **watches his prey** with lustful eyes.

The boy can't do anything but to watch as **he is eaten alive** by a ghoul.

Next Kaneki **eats his other hand** , then both of his legs.

Blood pools cover the floor, the newspapers are completely soaked. He throws the bones on top of the newspapers.

The boy passes out. Kaneki moves on and **opens the abdomen**. He leaves out the stomach and guts.

**Heart is the best part.**

 

_He is ashamed of himself._

 

* * *

 

 

" **I can't take this anymore!** " He yells and takes a kitchen knife and shoves it on to his neck. 

 

The blade breaks.

 

The shards fall down. The sound of small metal pieces meeting the cold hard stone tiles, _the sound of failure._

 

"I think we both know that  _that_ was pointless, you need  _at least_ a ghoul to kill yourself, normal kitchen knives won't do" Rize's voice resounds from the walls. 

Her heels hit the wooden floor. 

 

_Thump thump **thump**._

 

Her steps stop. She is still in the living room, not coming any closer.

_Kaneki won't let her come closer._

 

He doesn't look at her, only his failure. He shifts his gaze to his coffee mugs, different color mugs, there's light green with a white text 'leave the world better than you found it', completely black one, red one...

 

"Ignoring me doesn't make me go away"

 

Kaneki doesn't answer, he keeps focusing his thoughts on his mugs. Green, white, spotted...

 

"I know you hate me and you don't want to let me closer but..." She stops.

 

 _'There's only_   _me and my thoughts, there's the coffee, the books, the walls...'_

 

Kaneki dares to look at her. She is gone. 

 

"Hello, I'm here" a voice next to him says. He turns to look but there's no one there. He rubs his eyes.

"You can't see me,  _you see,_ like I have said this,  _many times before_ ,  **I** am the voice, the small noise in your head that keeps you insane"

Kaneki looks around, tries to locate the source but the voice isn't in the room,

_**it's in his head.** _

 

* * *

 

 

  _It's seven and a half months now._

 

 

The floors are mostly cleaned of the blood but the bones and the disgusting parts left from the body are still there, on top of the newspapers. The pages that were turning yellowish are now painted with blood and the ugly green of mold.

 

Kaneki puts on decent clothes, a black hooded jacket, dark blue jeans, and black sneakers. He ties his long hair on a loose ponytail, the white tips brush against his back under his hoodie.

 

He steps out but not to take the garbage out. 

 

_No..._

 

 _he goes to see some ghouls._  

 

-

 

The outside world has changed into an unknown place, a place where danger might lurk behind every corner. 

The leaves on the trees, the sound they make when moving against each other, is calming.

The birds, even though aren't many in the city, their songs are like lullabies.

But there is also other noises. Smells, sights,  _feelings._

The smell of gas, the noises of people, the fog around the city, the air that makes him cough.

 

_He hates this,- **this** -this feeling of living, the feeling of life, not in it's natural beauty but it's imperfections; the imperfections that humans made. _

 

He walks past a park, there's a pond, ducks swimming in it. An old lady is feeding them breadcrumbs. 

_Past those._

A spotted stray cat, short fur, sleeping on a bench. 

Lovers making out.

Two people holding hands.

Group of friends sitting on grass. 

_Past everything._

 

**_This might be the last time._ **

_-_

 

"Hey Kaneki~ I'm bored" The voice says as Kaneki sits on to an empty bench.

"Can I play with nee-san here?" it says.

"Sure thing, we can play all you want!" Rize's voice says from behind Kaneki with a motherly tone.

Kaneki takes a quick glimpse of Rize, almost like ensuring himself that she is still there.

He notices that right next to him, there's a boy with a short white hair, the one he has seen these couple days, the one making the noise in his dreams.

"You can see me! It still surprises me" It says joyfully. The same face as the face that looks at Kaneki everyday from the bathroom mirror. _It is him but little younger, happier._

Kaneki gets up and ignores it. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He cannot wake up. Standing in a room, a room that is not big nor small, a room where pictures cover the black walls. No doors, no windows.

He doesn't feel the usual pressure that comes from closed places, -places that trap him inside.

_No...  -this is peaceful._

Birds chirping on the background.

A buzzing noise

getting louder

_louder_

**_louder_ **

**_LOUDER._ **

 

_Then it stops._

 

_Its voice, it's there. Finally it corrupts this._

"I surround you. You're mine" it says.

_The only thing left **now** , now that the only peaceful thing is corrupted, is to kill... _

 

**_oneself._ **

 

* * *

 

He arrives to an abandoned factory ruins, the cement walls are still standing, the only thing left from it's former glory if you could say it had one in the first place.

 

_He is in._

 

Everything that is outside stays outside, only small sun rays from small windows near the ceiling give little light to the big hall.

 

He doesn't hear anything but he knows.

_He smells that they are here._

 

He activates his kakugan, his eye.

 

The odd features appear from the shadows, everything moves slowly, carefully, coming closer and closer, ready to attack at any given second.

A voice says with a strong, Irish accent: "One-eyed king or whatever they call you these days, right?"

"You could call me that" Kaneki shrugs.

"And what does the one-eyed king want in here?" the voice continues, Kaneki could almost taste their fear on his tongue.

"Death" 

That makes most of them back away in a hurry, back to their places in the shadows.

Kaneki does not move, he just waits.

"Whose death do you mean...? Do- do you mean..." The voice wavered "...us?" he whispered.

"Mine" Kaneki said with a determined and strong intention.

 

The ghouls didn't move for a while, most likely thinking if they heard right. It was quiet for a while. Then the air was filled with small whispers, so quiet so one couldn't hear what they were saying but enough to fill the empty in the hall.

 

One ghoul emerges from the shadows, a different one than last time. 

"Death? To yourself? Are you crazy?" It said with a amused voice like Kaneki had made a joke.

"I'm completely serious. I cannot hurt myself so my death can only be caused by other ghoul." Kaneki looked at the ghoul and couldn't quite decide if it was male or female. It didn't have its kagune out nor was its eye turned. But it was a ghoul, that's for sure. The smell had that one thing that made ghouls stand out, it was the unique smell that was hard to describe; the smell of copper, silver and faint pine needle scent mixed would be the most accurate one.

"So, you're asking us to grant your death, is that it?" The Irish accent spoke, most likely a male judging by the deepness of the voice.

 

_**"Yes."** _


	2. Red Iris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By joining a gang, Kaneki finds himself a temporary peace to think things through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will get weird like life usually is. And be prepared to face a multicrossover at some point in this series ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°), you judging piece of chocolate rainbow.
> 
> I have nothing else to say about this, really. I have worked on this for a few weeks now, another chapter to this will most likely come.

* * *

 

 

The Irish accent, clearly bursts to full laugh. Ghouls around exchange skeptical looks. Kaneki stands there and is becoming more and more pissed.

"Whoa! You know, we make deals and to ask something like that..." He rubs his index and a thumb together "...we need something in return"

Kaneki doesn't do anything rash, he just stands there for a moment, and then he chuckles to himself and pends over to cover his smiling face.

His chuckles echo in the room, everything else is silent. 

"Sure, of course" he says as he swipes some of the small tears from his eyes.

The other ghouls are surprised by his response, and Kaneki sees from their shadowy faces that they're just relieved he didn't kill them.

"You will become the leader of our... _gang_ " the Irish accent says.

Kaneki freezes and the anger rises on to his face once more.

" _NO!"_ He yells.

Then it becomes silent.

Then screeching noises from the glass panels starts to make the air grovel from the ground up, making the air thicker with anger.

 

"Hey, hear me out first" The Irish accent breaks the tension.

"That's enough" Kaneki growls under his breath and his iris turns bloody red and leaves it there as a reminder.

"No, I mean-" The ghoul tries to explain frantically "if you could make our gang famous, then, sure, after that we could kill you"

No black appeared on Kaneki's eyes, but they were scanning through everyone in the hall, trying to decide what to do.

They stand there for 5 minutes and then...

"Yeah, I suppose we have an agreement" He says with detest.

 

No one shakes hands but agreement has been formed, based on fragile trust.

 

* * *

 

"So, where should we start to get you assholes started, I want to get this off my schedule as soon as possible" Kaneki says and claps his hand together. He leaves the question that wasn't even a question, just hanging in the air. 

Some shrug. Some even laugh a bit from happiness.

"Well, to become great... no......to rule... over everyone" He mumbles to himself. 

"Let's start by deciding the three ghouls who would rule under me, give orders to underlings and stuff like that. Any suggestions?" Kaneki tiredly breathes out.

They start talking and proposals rain from here and there:

"Well, Kino is smart, it think she should be one" 

"Moth is a great strategist"

"We should ask the Bug, he is a good leader"

and there were also many others. 

In the end, Kaneki decides on Moth, Bug and another ghoul named Daymon who is rumored to be very strong and intelligent and currently is somewhere else but has ties to the gang.

 

"Next should be our name, does this gang have a name?" Kaneki asks and one could sense his boredom of his tone.

"At some point we were called Rabid Street Dogs..." someone says from the corner of the hall shyly.

"That won't do, we need a better name, short and easy to remember. We should make others fear us" Kaneki briefly claims and looks at his own black nails, he looks intimidating with his iris still red and ready to transform.

"How about... Gory Ragers?" someone says and Kaneki turns him down by just looking.

"Raging ghouls?" 

Still a no.

The discussion continues for over half an hour and then the crowd silences to think, nothing is good,  _it needs to be good for the leader._

Kaneki hears his heartbeat beating and beating in the quiet. The crowd's ghoul-smell is overwhelming, something musky and something mysterious. 

Then this ghoul, Kino, female ghoul with a small body, short black hair with bangs and black irises, face round and child-like, steps in front of Kaneki.

"Red Iris?" She asks. 

Kaneki slowly nods in approval as he looks at the woman's eyes. There's something interesting behind them but something that cant be wrapped in words.

Everyone else except the woman and Kaneki applaud and cheer.

"You'll be the vice-president" Kaneki whispers and nods towards her. Kino nods back and her small eyes squint a little to show her regards. Silent arrangement forms between them.

 

* * *

 

 

"We are an organization now, Red Iris, and to support our business, we need to think if we're going to legalize this or make it into a terrorist organization" Kaneki puts his opinion out.

"Yes, I agree. Most likely we have to be a terrorist organization because of our actions will not be legal. But forming ties to leading organizations and businesses is a key factor" Kino adds and takes a quick glimpse at Kaneki, trying to find his approval and that's what she finds.

"So, we need to keep this a secret, secure place is needed, and we will need security protocols. And I want to do this fast so me, Kino, Moth and Bug will have an immediate meeting and you who have ties to this Daymon?" he asks and four hands rise "you will go find him. Others will go recruit more ghouls in the area and we will meet here in two days, exactly at 1800 hours, is that clear?" 

"What if they don't want to join?" Someone asks.

"Well, if they're weak enough, kill them, less competition for us. And if they're too strong then run away, it's okay to tell them the location, if they come here, I will kill them with my own hands" Kaneki gives them a creepy smile at the end, making everyone crawl with fear.

They go on their own paths and Kaneki starts the meeting.

 

* * *

 

 

"So, how should we divide the group?" Moth asks. He is tall and has short and curly blond hair, casual, mostly beige and yellowish clothing. His features are sharp but his right eye looks more tired because of the circle around his brown eye.

Bug is a short man, he has orange red hair in a bun. A lot of freckles. Little bit of fat. Very formal clothing, mostly deep red colored. And he keeps staring at Kaneki.

"A group of three main units, recruitment, base maintenance and defensive forces. Later the defensive forces could be divided into fighters and base protectors, now we should focus on recruitment and defense."  Moth states and doesn't say anything after that. Kaneki nods, he likes the idea.

"So now we are just recruiting, nothing else, right?" Bug asks. Kaneki is slowly starting to regret choosing Bug.

"Base maintenance unit should be then divided on to medical, nourishment, and builders, electricians et cetera, to built and maintain our base" Kino proposes but it's more like a demand than a proposal. 

"I agree" 

"So we should start by hiring people. But first is the base; I know a good, remote location kind of near this town. It's a big bunker that was built to protect citizens. We should restore it and modify it a little to fit our needs" Kino continues.

"Is it correct that the bunker is mostly under ground? How many known entrances are there?" Moth asks Kino. This meeting is turning into a dialogue between those two, and for Kaneki that was fine.

"Yes, it's mostly under ground. And two, but the other one does not function properly, I suppose we should repair the other and maybe make a third, secret entrance not known to the public for strategic evacuations if needed, or even for a surprise attack" 

They both ask Kaneki with their looks. Kaneki approves, again. Then they continue with Kaneki nodding in some pauses.

"The headquarters, the boss' room" Kino nods towards Kaneki "should be on the second lowest floor, at the center of everything, well guarded" 

"Do you know how may floors there are?"

"Four and also there's the basement floor, so five in total"

"And how do you know this?"

"I'm a librarian and I have studied this town's history for years now. I just happened to stumble across it once and it peaked my interest"

Moth stays silent and nods. Bug has stopped paying attention and tries to correct his bun, strands of his hair are sticking out.

"Has it been ever used?" Kaneki joins in.

"Just once during some terrorist attack many years ago, since then it has been forgotten completely"

"Do you have the blueprints for it?"

"I can get them by tomorrow and I can also destroy the other copies made of it"

"Great. And I also have a question, how are you going to take care of the nourishment part you were planning?" Kaneki's eyes stop to look at Kino, he is holding his chin with his hand, giving her all of his attention. 

"A gathering group, firstly it claims the bodies of the suicide victims and other, already dead bodies and then distributes them to other ghouls. Also coffee could be served" Kino answers.

That's the answer he wants to hear but that wasn't the whole truth.

"And if there aren't enough of those already dead bodies?" He asks with a small grin over his face. 

Kino thinks for a moment, ponders on the question.

"Then we will start organizing killings, only killing criminals who deserve it" She says and moves some of her black hair behind her ear, it's pinkish color.

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting is finally over. The sun has just risen from the horizon. Kaneki gave each of them different tasks. Bug checks the situation with Daemon's recruitment, Kino gets the blueprints and gathers more information on other organizations in the area, and Moth starts hiring people. Kaneki however, doesn't do anything productive.

 

He walks on the sidewalk, bikers and joggers go past. The scent of ghouls does not linger in the air, it's murky, city air.

"Oh, I really like the idea of that organization" The voice says and Kaneki notices that he is in fact, walking right next to the voice.

"Makes me feel so special!" It shouts and Kaneki tries to shut his ears from it but can't.

"A leader!" It fantasizes.

Kaneki keeps walking, his steps are getting shorter, just like his breath.

He tries to pay no mind to the younger him dancing and jumping next to him. 

Then Rize appears and joins them. 

Rize on his right side, the voice on his left, he feels cornered. 

Rize's violet hair occasionally brushes against Kaneki's face and her hand gets lost on Kaneki's arm.

The voice calms down, it doesn't yell anymore, it knows it's ineffective. So it clings on to Kaneki, trying to grab his leg and make him fall. It wants attention.

"It's nice to see you go out" Rize looks at Kaneki without any positive response.

"It's nice being the king again!" The voice announces as it tries to climb on Kaneki's back. It succeeds because there are too many people around to see. Kaneki can't shake him off now. 

"Such a wonderful day! Sunlight and green, flowers and queen. Ah! Finally I'm able to be feel this- this feeling of being a queen!" Rize takes a deep breath and spreads her arms. Her right arm passes through a passerby who doesn't notice anything.

Kaneki finally arrives to his apartment, a shabby old flat. Rize and the voice disappear before he steps into the aprtment. He takes the stairs because the elevator stopped working few months earlier and it still hasn't been fixed.

There are no others in the stairway, just him and his thoughts. Rize and the voice.

The moisture of the walls and floors makes the smell even worse. The smell of dust, earth and mold. 

His steps echo, the sneakers friction can be heard from the fifth floor. He walks up and ignores the sound, there's only one person who could be there at the dawn of day and it is the deaf grandma on second floor, others, three who actually live here, are at work at this hour, workaholics. And the other few who have apartment - they keep them as storage units. 

He goes to the third floor, his door is nearest to the one window there is, on that floor, at the staircase. He turns his keys in the lock, even though his apartment wouldn't need to be locked up -it doesn't have anything valuable and no one comes here, not even thieves.

He breathes in the still air. He throws his keys to the nearest table, the sound of metal against the wooden surface.

"Welcome home" Rize says with a wicked smile and walks closer to Kaneki.

He doesn't answer, just wonders where the the voice is, usually they appear together, or sometimes, only the voice, but never Rize, not alone.

Then Rize surprises him by pushing her face only centimeters apart from Kaneki's thin skin. Eyes staring into Kaneki's. 

"I should go to sleep" He says and goes through Rize, he feels cold when he passes through Rize's body. 

He curls up in his bed, the stringing creaks and the familiar scent of his bed sheets that haven't been washed enough invite him in. He lays his head onto his flat pillow that has been there with him through these tough times; the darkness lulls him to his deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

The strips of sunlight underneath the curtain paint yellowish stripes down his face. The sweat glides from his forehead; his hair and shirt glued to his skin.

Then the body twitches, the arm that had fallen asleep now rests on top of his abdomen. His chest ascents and descents with only a short pause between each breath. His right leg trembles: it's cramps. Kaneki jumps out of his sleep and hurries to hold his leg; his back is curved and drops of saliva fall down from his ajar mouth. 

After he has his leg in control, he goes to the bathroom. In the bathtub there still lays the remains of the delivery guy. The blond hair clogs the drain so the blood stays inside the tub, but it has dried and only the dark red, almost brown color, stays on the sides. 

Kaneki looks at himself from the bathroom mirror. Red Iris and white of his eye has turned black. Weary, circled eyes stared straight back at him. His wrinkled sheets have left imprints on his right cheek. The hair is sticking out, but only on the right side. Like the human part of him has turned wild overnight and the ghoul part of him stays composed but only a little tired.  

For his misery, he spots another eye pair on the mirror, the same kind of eyes than his own. He swiftly washes his face with cold water as he proceeds to the kitchen where he makes a fresh cup of coffee. 

Rize says 'Good morning' like she does every day nowadays. And Kaneki avoids her as usual, but it has become the normal routine of battle between his thoughts. He knows they're not real so he know there's no reason to fret over them. 

 

-

 

He sits on the edge of his bar stool, sipping the burning hot coffee that burns his tongue and it tastes bitter as always. Rize looks at Kaneki from across the table. Kaneki acts like he doesn't see her, he only thinks to himself. Today at "work" he will be overseeing the organizations' structure, talking to influential people and deciding on whether or not the ghouls can freely roam around the city and eat as they want, _and that is_ _d_ _efinitely a no._

The last drop he drinks with a gulp and when he puts down his cup, it collides with the surface and makes a loud thud, almost as loud as it were to break.

The voice whispers something to his ear, Kaneki can feel its soft lips on his ear, gently moving, and the warm air tingles as it hits his sensitive skin. It reminds him of the centipede crawling in his ear, he can almost hear it move in there, the dozens of small feet touching his skin  _inside his ear._  

 

* * *

 

"Well you're early, Leader" Kino's eyes follow Kaneki as he sits on his chair at the end of the meeting table. Her short heels make an echo in the hall. 

Kaneki grunts as an answer.

"The transfer operations will be executed today, they will be ready by tomorrow evening, Leader" She explains and sits very elegantly next to Kaneki.

"Stop calling me leader, say Kaneki"

"Very well, Kaneki-sama" She nods to him.

"Actually... nah, just stick to the leader, it's fine that way" He swipes the air embarrassed and gets into a stoop posture.

Kino doesn't answer to him but starts sorting papers to the table that had been put there just yesterday. 

"I have a deal to make in about... well, as it turns out, our client is late. But I suppose you care to oversee this deal yourself if he comes, leader?"

"Fine by me, isn't the intimidation the key?" 

"Yes, and it's actually better for you to be here, the client knows your background, it will speed up the progress"

A big man in a business suit enters the hall. The guards near the entrance hold the heavy doors to him; they hear a loud boom as the doors close. 

"This client, Mister Johann Winnbustler, is a possible investor, Leader" Kino whispers quietly to Kaneki, her red lipstick almost touches Kaneki's ear, that's how close her mouth is. She retreats to her own seat as the man approaches, with a swaying motion from left to right, and short steps; he takes the seat at the end of the table, opposite Kaneki. The mister nods to both of them as he wipes the sweat off of his face with a handkerchief. 

"So why is this so... far away? Wouldn't it be easier in an office building in a neat room and a buffet table?" Mister pauses between every third word to take a breath and then he laughs at his own joke and almost runs out of breath while doing so.

Kaneki and Kino watch him indifferently, waiting him to take a breath and get use to the murky air around here.

Then Kino starts: "We have been waiting for you, mister Winnbustler. I don't think I introduced myself yet, I'm Kino and I presume you know mister Kaneki, right?"

"Ye-yeah, sure I know him, at least I've heard of him, it's an honor meeting you" He sweats even more and he starts shaking as he realizes that he is in fact in a room with the person he has only heard of in the news, the same, fearsome ghoul who now controls an organization and now he has the chance to be a part of it.

"So," Kaneki starts "here's the deal: you pay us money and we keep our ghouls away from your business, deal?" He activates his kakugan, almost to enhance what he said.

Mister Winnbustler avoids his piercing gaze with a great effort and tries to negotiate: "How about I get a group of ghouls for me to command in exchange for some of my services"

"I don't think you understand, mister, this is not negotiable. The payment is twelve million yen a year, and the money will be collected 21st of December; I think it's a small price to pay for your life" Kaneki states and stares at the mister.

"Uhm.. I will... have to... umm... think.. about it. Yeah. Think about it" 

"No, that won't do, you need to sign this" Kino slides a paper contract across the table, right where she wanted it to go. Then she throws a pen at him but one of the guards that now had come really close to them, got it and handed it to the mister. Mister accepted the pen with shaky hands and looked at the contract in front of him with frightened eyes. His eyes move as they go through the rows but it's only a habit, he doesn't really read it, he's so scared that he can only concentrate on Kaneki. Then he starts writing his signature at the end of the paper with rickety lines. 

He gets to leave alive, _for now_. 

 

* * *

 

 

The concrete walls have a rough surface, Kaneki thinks as he lets his right hand wander on the walls. A bump, nail, breaks his serenity with the wall. He allows his hand to drop to his side as he continues walking towards his office. Some of the plastic curtains are still on place, this place is still under construction but it's better than the old hall.

Kaneki encounters Moth. Moth's grey with a little bit of beige mantle hangs on top of his earthly brown and thin woolly sweater with long sleeves, he also has dark brown trousers with large pockets where his hands currently are, he doesn't even take them out to greet Kaneki. His curly hair covers his right eye so no one can see the circle around it. As they pass each other, they nod to each other without saying a word.

Kaneki brushes his hand against the shiny coat on top of the hard wood on his desk. He sits down and listens. Thudding that is almost mute in the rhythm of a heartbeat. Footsteps in the distance, heels hitting the ground. Clanging sounds, hammer meets iron. Then there's the sounds of plastic curtains that move along the currents that go towards the nearest exit. And the smells: A musky pine and honey mix, a strong sawdust, a hint of blood, a mild minty shampoo scent, and plastic and metal flavors that linger in the air.

Then there's a knock on the door, a soft but resolute. The footsteps have gone past so it is not Kino, and from the smell of them, the other is a stranger, and the other is Bug, he has that lingering scent of garlic even though he doesn't eat any.

"It's open"

Bug steps in and behind him there's an elegant beauty. Her shapes are curled, like her long, soft auburn hair, and her eyes that contort from light grey to dark green to deep plum. She has a hint of red on top of her cheekbones and on her perky lips. She has a red hoodie where the neckline reaches under her bust but instead there being skin, there's a white ruffled blouse that is buttoned all the way up. She has that graceful and intelligent look in her eyes that not many have. And her walking is like a ballet dancer's, continuous and serene. She doesn't have heels but she has ballet flats and tight jeans. 

"This is Daymon" Bug introduces her and by a chance, Kaneki compares their heights, clearly, Daymon is a tall woman, at least 30 centimeters higher than Bug, and without any heels on.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Kaneki" He gives his introduction and goes in for a handshake. Her handshake is firm and strong, her hands are soft but have signs of labor. She smiles along with her shake, revealing a shiny row of white teeth. 

"i'dn't've known it was ye if I'd've seen ye on tha street, ya seemeth different; did'ya let yer hair grow?" She sounded like she would've come out of a history book but with a mix of some slang in there; it did not fit her image but eye is keen on adjusting. 

"Well, I let it grow a bit. _A change of one's appearance is a sign of revolution in one's mind_ would describe it the best"

"A drastic change might what be?" She touches her chin in awe "Art thou curious, Bug-dearie?" she slaps Bug to the shoulder while wearing a wide grin on her face.

"Uh, well, one might be curious of other's mind, but..." Bug starts but is interrupted by Daymon's hug that sinks his face into her bosom.

"Well, you seem to be on familiar terms with each other" 

"Oh! Bug-dearie is the one friend I was granted with, familiar terms do cometh close to friendship of ours; Met him back in Italy, the streets of Rome that were only lighted by the dim flambeaus that shone through the fenestras, there our flames connected. For one reason or another he talked to me not for several years to come, till now he granted me the pleasure of reuniting"

"And I'm very, very sorry for that!" Bug gets his face off of her chest and apologizes to her. Kaneki notices something odd that needed answering so he changes the subject.

"I could ask my secretary to show you around if you were to stay here with us" 

"Of course stays I, could not ask for better place to be!" Her speech seems to fight against each other and that bothers Kaneki. But he calls Kino on his phone that now has taken the role of a secretary, saying only few words to the phone and then ending the call, Kino will understand the situation once she arrives.

And soon she arrived; her heels were clanging against the cement floors with a rhythm that terrifies even Kaneki. And then the door opens sharply but with control; at that moment, she lays her eyes on her and she knows what she must do. She nods and Daymon follows.

Bug tries to leave but Kaneki runs to the door and closes it right in front of his eyes. 

"I-I swear I didn't!" he stutters in words

"Who exactly is she?" Kaneki calmly asks while being uncomfortably close to Bug, his hands have somehow found their way onto Bug's shoulders, keeping him in place in case he tries to run for it.

"She- she is... "

"Yes?" 

"A-a ghoul fro-from 19th... century, Italy, a-a truly a survivor, to-to survive that long, but her memory seems... a little..."

"..broken?" Kaneki tries to fill in the blank.

"Yes; she doesn't seem to remember much and her sense of time is distorted, she has lived in America for some time now, just recently moved here due to some reason"

"But it doesn't exactly explain your relationship with her, have you ever even been to Italy?" Kaneki crosses his arms and moves a small distance away, still close enough that Bug won't try to escape.

"Well, due to some convenient confusion and misunderstanding, I might be a lookalike of her past lover who... died, at some point" 

"So is it safe to assume that you're able to control her?" 

"Control wouldn't be the specific word I would use, more like, I could make her suggestions that she  _might_ follow along with"

"Okay, we'll deal with her then"

"Wa-wait! what are you going to do with her? Are you going to kill her?" 

"Not like I would tell you, but due to my kindness I can tell you this: she will be killed if deemed useless but if not, she might be a valuable asset, and by the looks of her, she might might be the latter" Kaneki plays with his own hair as he says this, twiddling and swirling the ends of the strands of the hair.

"And you're good to go" he adds to Bug, almost as a reminder that his work is done for today, that he  _might_ be called in  _if_ needed.

 

* * *

 

 

"Really interesting thing you got there. I didn't know ghouls could last that long. And I gave the thing a room on the lowest floor, she is guarded closely if anything were to happen, leader" Kino states with her usual indifferent attitude.

"I, too, didn't know ghouls could live so long. But there is so little known of the ghouls, we could even have abilities that we didn't about, isn't just crazy that we haven't explored the possibilities?" Kaneki fantasizes and doesn't seem too chatty about the safety issues involving "the thing".

"With you as a leader, we might be able to establish a research center dedicated to finding new, unknown abilities of ghouls"

"That sounds promising for your future, but do we have enough space for it?"

"To _our_ future, leader, and we currently don't have the resources nor space for it but we could create it to somewhere else. Like they say, _don't put all your eggs in one basket._ " 

"Sounds interesting enough. By the way, how is the progress of our base going?"

"Well enough that about two weeks from this moment, the internal and external structure of the base is fully complete, leader, after that I recommend focusing on deploying as many as possible, ghouls to our organization. For that, I have already devised a plan. Would you care to hear it?"

"Well, I trust you enough, just do what you do the best, lead the way"

_"Yes, leader"_


	3. Tricky situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mind of the world should not be taken lightly.  
> It can rip every dream to small pieces and repair it but only to be broken again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To add: This does NOT follow the exact rules of Tokyo ghoul, because I'm planning on doing a crossover so I have to bent the rules. So, a little disclaimer, this is an AU of some sort so, my world, my rules (¬‿¬)

* * *

 

 

His arm hangs from the armchair as a droopy limb that is somehow still attached to the body. His body is relaxed, the spine is leaning along the curve of the back of the chair. A scent of lavender wonders in the air. Curtains shade the room, only shades grey of the color spectrum is to be seen. He sees a man in the shadows, but that man is not a threat.

"I don't want to go over that again" Kaneki's lax voice fills the room.

"I must insist on this, we cannot proceed otherwise" the other man speaks with a strong and profound tone that has a calming effect. 

"no...." Kaneki whimpers out with voice that wasn't louder than a whisper.

"So, shall we continue this another time then?"

Kaneki signals a yes with his head before it falls against his chin and he falls asleep. The drugs made him very sleepy but they were effective.

"Well then, I should call your secretary" The man says quietly not to wake him up. 

He gets up and walks to his phone and is just about to dial when someone knocks on the door, the knock is loud but Kaneki doesn't wake up. The man's steps are shy, he doesn't know what to expect. The creaks of the door, the repressed groan of the man, and the sound of a blade cutting through the flesh are the only sounds that can be heard.

Before long, the sounds of teeth biting into the flesh can be heard.  _Munching, eating._ It's over in minutes, but new sounds saturate the air -or what's left of the uncontaminated air there is. 

A recognizable voice, the very voice that once entranced Kaneki,  _that_  voice that once was in his office, standing alongside Bug. 

"Hiya Kaneki-dearie, d'ya miss me?" It says,  _she_  says, but soon after that there is a sound of bones crushing for two, long minutes. Then there's silence, complete silence.

"Oh dearie, 'tis but a bad habit of mine" It says now with a voice that belonged to the man but now it has a troubling tone to it.

"Upsy daisy, there we go" It picks up Kaneki's limp body that is now in deep sleep "I could've told ya but I want thee for myself, and ye'd've told them about 'tis ability, I know ya" 

 

* * *

 

 

"Therapy would be appropriate for you. You lack the will to lead us to victory, and that's not what we want" Kino stands straight in her tight-fitting black suit.

"And you think that  _therapy_  is the right choice for this? I want to be dead and I'm pretty sure you won't be fulfilling your role in our deal pretty soon, so I improvise" Kaneki's hair has been cut to a short length and his black bangs hang in front of his eyes. He is still young and healthy -physically, but mentally he has scars that can't be patched up, no matter how skillful the doctor.

"You have been our leader for a year now, not many and you get your death as you wish. But until then, you must act as our leader, not pretend,  _lead_ " Kino's eyes squinted as she corrects her posture to be more aggressive. 

"Honestly I would rather be Death's pet than your leader" Kaneki states with his indifferent voice and circulates his pen in his hands. It slips and falls to the floor. Kino stares at him, trying to say 'Don't be childish' but Kaneki is too focused on death and doesn't notice Kino.

"A cat maybe" He says as he continues by knocking down a pen holder and all the pens inside.

Kino closes her eyes and turns to leave. 

"But really, if there was something to live for, then maybe I could stay a bit longer. But even you know there isn't" Kaneki picks up a pen and throws it onto Kino's back, a loud sound of bump and the pen drops to the floor. Kino turns back, angry enough to even kill Kaneki but she controls herself. She takes the pen from the floor and in a compositely manner she places it back onto the table and then leaves the room.

"Yeah yeah, go on and leave me here, I'm gonna die anyway" Kaneki relaxes on his desk, his arms crossed under his chin. 

He spends his days here now, thinking about death, nothing has really changed, only the place.

"Sir, Daymon would like to see you" Bug announces from the door frame, only his head and right hand are shoving.

"What could she possibly want?" Kaneki lets out a sigh. 

"She wants to play with UNO cards, sir" Bug says and his head arcs over a little, he is embarrassed to say that.

"UNO means one, aye? How do play it? Oh ye must tell me!" Daymon comes behind Bug and passes him while clapping her hands together.

"UNO is a card game; Bug, if you don't mind, get us the cards, please" 

"Yes sir"

Daymon's hair is now on two, thick braids that rest on her chest. She creeps closer to Kaneki's desk and sits on the table even though there's a chair right next to it.

"I've boredom strike me as its target, art thou a target too?" Her eyes follow Kaneki's each move while her hands twiddle with her hair. She tilts her head a little, trying to act more innocent than she is.

"I might be a target, indeed"

"Well good, then we might as well play the UNO"

Bug hurries in, carrying red and small box that screams 'UNO' with a large and yellow font. 

"Sorry it took me so long, here you go, Leader" Bug hands them over to Kaneki but Daymon snatches them from his hands. 

"Now thou can go, Bug-dearie" She thrusts him away with a light push.

"Can two play 'tis game?" She questions with a faint smile.

"Yeah, two is just fine" Kaneki straightens his hand to receive the cards but Daymon holds onto to them. Instead she takes his hand and licks it. 

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Kaneki yanks his hand off and slaps her to her face. 

"'tis but a custom where I come from. Learn to relax, won't ye?" She holds her cheek. The UNO cards have fallen to the floor, wild draw four card showing at the top. 

"That's not a custom, you hag!" Kaneki yells and pushes her out of the room while stomping on the cards. Daymon doesn't protest but gently walks out of the door without saying anything. 

Kaneki slams the door shut and it creates a current that scatters the cards around even more.

He goes to his own, private bathroom and begins to scrub frantically away the saliva and the memory.

His hands blister, his hand becomes red and sensitive.

"...leader?" Bug enters the office room, he takes two big leaps to avoid stepping on the cards. 

"...excuse me, leader, are you there?" 

"...yes? What do you need?" Kaneki answers furiously, his voice is deeper than normal. Even though a thick door is between the two of them, Bug can still sense Kaneki's fury. 

"Yo-your highness! I-1 humbly ask tha-that you come to-to th-the meeting room, it's an emergency!" Bug stuttered as he clenched his fist, almost daring to knock on the bathroom door.

"I'm not your highness, leader is better, and in regards to the meeting room; no, I'm not in the mood to be meeting any more people right now" 

"Bu-but!" 

" **Leave me ALONE!"** Kaneki shouted and locked the door "Kino will take care of it!" 

"But it's about Kino! She's missing!"

" **What!?"** Kaneki attacks with the door and it hits Bug's face. 

"Take me to the meeting room!" Kaneki shuts the door and lifts Bug in the air by the collar, his face, hands and iris are all the color of a raging fire, wild and free of these worldly laws.

Bugs secedes from the grip and spurts to the meeting room while Kaneki follows.

 

-

 

"Hayo! Kaneki-dearie!" Daymon welcomes Kaneki with her arms wrapped around her knees. Beside her is the nourishment section's leader, Azmith who has an elegant and modern clothing, cheerful face and glowing scalp with some head decorations. Her eyes easily pierce through ice and no one wants to go sideways on her way. Still she is shy in her own way, cherishing small things in life. 

On the other side of Daymon there's an empty seat that belongs to Kino because they worked together on base management operations but Kino was mostly doing all the hard work.

Opposite Azmith there's a young man with a long and straight blond hair that is usually tied on a ponytail. His face is stuck on to an eternal bitch-face and there's even an urban legend about his smile. It's rumored that he smiled when he saw a kitten but no one has lived to tell the tale. His style is normal and boring compared to other ghouls around the table, he wears a black t-shirt, grey jeans and red sneakers that were bought during world war 2. And he always wears his necklace that has a little golden bow at the end of the chain. And beside the man is Moth, defensive forces' leader. They seem to be glued to the documents on the table.

"So what's the problem?" Kaneki walks in and sits to the chair at the end of the table. Bug runs to his own seat, the recruitment seat that doesn't hold that much value in the organisation anymore.

"Your attitude" Daymon clears her throat.

"Want me to punch you in the face?" Kaneki gives her the faux-smile while his eyes don't seem too happy.

"Can you stop arguing? We have matters to discuss" Azmith evens out the papers' edges by tapping them against the table and creating a sense of authority in the moment.

"So, Kino? Yeah, I know. Missing, out of action. Where was she last seen? Rolf, any idea?" Kaneki demonstrates with his hands.

The long haired man is focused on fiddling with his bow-necklace and grunts as an answer. 

"We discussed about that," Moth answers for Rolf "one of his guards saw her and the list that we keep, like, who goes in 'n' out, she was marked as gone. No more to report"

Kaneki nods in agreement, "Anything else to add? Azmith?" He turns to her as he crosses his fingers and leans onto the table with his arms.

"Ere-yesterday" Azmith leans towards the back of the chair and she takes a deep breath before continuing "we talked about our plan for the criminals that we decided to label as potential feeding objects, for that we have developed a program that would make the progress faster, but apart from that we haven't discussed anything worth mentioning"

" _not worth mentioning,_  well, I guess I should come check that program of yours" Kaneki leans closer to her but fortunate for her there's Daymon between them and Kaneki, at the moment, is not in good terms with her.

"Could you not bully her?" Rolf takes his eyes off the necklace and crosses his arms above his chest. 

"What, do you need a fight, Rolf?" Kaneki tries to lead him into a challenge.

"Could we  _please_  discuss the matter with Kino and not this" Moth extends both his arms towards the challengers as to not let them continue.

"Well, we could-a just say  _'what the heck, she ain't coming back'_  and call it a day" Daymon says her opinion.

"And you could just disappear to the fiery pit and never come back, that's when I call it a day" Kaneki gives her a piece of his mind.

"We should just arrange search parties to look for her, don't you agree, Rolf?" Moth tries to end the discussion quickly even though he usually doesn't have any matters to attend to.

"Well, we could scour through Tokyo but it's a tad too large place for our troops. I would need reinforcements and that means our defense would weaken drastically for the time being. What should we do?" Rolf leans into his chair.

"I think your troops do just fine, spread out and search district at a time in a group, shouldn't be too hard" Kaneki tries to make it obvious.

"I think the recruitment troop would be ideal reinforcements, they know the city and they have connections" Moth adds to the conversation.

"I think so too!" Bug declares across the table a he jumps up from his chair. Finally, he gets to do something important.

"Well then, I think our meeting has ended then." Kaneki gets up and walks out of the room. 

 

* * *

 

 

Kaneki is on the training ground with Rolf, they're sparring with each other, but now they're not heated with hatred but with status of dominance. 

Kaneki switches from his bare feet and hands to his kagune that extends from his lower back. 

"Oh  _come on!"_  Rolf steps further away to get some distance to transform and think of a plan.

"You know I'm koukaku-type and you  _just have to_  choose that type" Rolf shouts as a drill forms around his left arm and his eyes turn black.

"You know, rinkaku is my go-to kagune, it feels closer to me than any other" Kaneki's rinkaku's spikes grow out as he chuckles at Rolf.

"But  _ukaku_  is pretty nice" Rolf jumps in and strikes an attack on Kaneki. It ends up being directed towards a cement wall and his drill gets stuck.

"Ukaku, huh? Trying to lead me to give you an upper hand, are we?" Kaneki launches one of his spikes on Rolf's leg to make him unable to maneuver properly but he still keeps it light because he wants to play with him, make him think that he could beat Kaneki. Rolf cries in pain as he tries to remove the drill, he ends up deforming his kagune for a moment, then he faces Kaneki.

Kaneki is waiting from him afar, across the training ground, just watching with something devilish in his eyes, something uncontrollable. 

"You should see your face" Kaneki chuckles and his dimples deepen in skin as he enjoys watching him suffer.

"Huh? Well, right back at you" Rolf says as he lays off his guard in hoping that Kaneki would take the bait.

"Honestly, doing stuff like this, it's relaxing but it lacks the _adrenaline_  that real fight has" Kaneki comes closer with continuous steps that are like fox's, still he doesn't take the bait.

"With your fighting I doubt that. You haven't been in fights much, you're just a  _rookie_  that just thinks he's a big thing in the business. You let ghouls like me do the dirty work while you sip your cup of coffee in your office" Rolf starts rotating clock-wise to get action going. Kaneki goes in his lead.

"Fighting can be referred to alcohol" Kaneki creeps closer "one might enjoy it and consume it in small quantities-"

"-while the other makes a life out of drinking alcohol." Rolf ends his sentence.

"Exactly, and when that happens, the other living for it drowns in its blurred lines of reality" Kaneki whips the air with his spikes in frustration.

"So, what exactly is reality?"Rolf tries to lure him "does it consist of other people's opinions and words or is it just your version of the story" Rolf's koukaku is pointing towards to ground but he's waiting to lift it to guard his dear life.

"I like to think it's my version of the story but you see people on drugs and on their own worlds and that is considered to be 'out of touch with reality' so I think that it invalidates that opinion" Kaneki curves his back a bit and his spikes bend back, ready to launch, and he looks like an animal ready-to-attack.

"Oh? So you care more about how other people see you, is that it?" Rolf tries to lead Kaneki into the part of the hall where the roof is a little bit lower.

"I don't care about ' _reality'"_  Kaneki creates quotation marks with his fingers "that can be bent according to how other want it to be bent. And have you forgotten about my wish, the reason I'm still here?" He shifts closer, away from the spot where Rolf wants him.

"Who could forget that?" Rolf chuckles but does it too nervously and Kaneki sees through his plot.

" _Ah_ " Kaneki simply remarks as he moves away to the side.

"Are you serious?" 

"As to be expected from you,  _Rolf_ , you have clearly earned your place as my top dog. But you also fall under the category of contender, such a shame really"

"Are you trying to imply something?" Rolf moves back and he gets goosebumps from the vibes Kaneki gives.

"Honestly, you should know, I'm far greater than you" Kaneki growls under his breath and feather-like cells form around his shoulders. Soon magnificent wings spread and he gives Rolf his wickedest smile.

"That's just unfair" Rolf's eyes widen as he runs away as quickly as possible, he deforms his kagune in hopes to get a little lighter and get some distance between them.

"Is it okay to rip your leg off? or maybe both?" Kaneki mumbles to himself as he stands there.

Then he begins walking towards Rolf with confident but slow steps. He knows he has time.

But alarms go off and Moth runs to the hall. 

"We have a problem!" Moth runs towards Kaneki but halts as he realizes what's in front of him.

"What  _now?_  " Kaneki turns his head and his red iris shines bright under the strip light.

"Um," Moth hesitates to tell "Azmith has disappeared, she's nowhere to be seen"

" _Oh good_." Kaneki pronounces with a small and mischievous voice. 

"So" Moth creates eye contact with Rolf who is curled up in a corner "we should start an emergency meeting and start investigating these disappearances, it's not normal because it's just a week apart"

"Maybe the police is onto us" Kaneki gives him the coldest chill Moth has ever experienced but at the same time Kaneki feels epiphany approaching him.

"Yeah, maybe" Moth crosses his arms due to the cold atmosphere "but the meeting,  _now"_  he commands Kaneki who still is soaked in the heat of the fight.

"But..." Kaneki thinks for awhile and then calms down "...-ok"

Moth gives Rolf a wink to remind him he owes him one and then he leaves with Kaneki. Rolf follows them afterwards after he composes himself.

 

* * *

 

 

"We have done everything we could!" Bug stands up as he defends himself.

"So, should we decide who gets their places?" Daymon plays with her soft auburn hair that now has two small braids among the freely flowing hair.

"I think we should think of a temporary replacements for now" Moth disagrees with Daymon and uses his right-eye-technique.

"So, any recommendations? anyone?" Kaneki calmly analyzes the room from his seat. His feet are on top of the table, he feels relaxed somehow by the situation.

"I recommend someone from Daymon's section, they were the leaders of the base management so I think it would make sense" Moth eyes Daymon as he tries to lead this the conversation to his advantage. Daymon smiles to him to cover her intentions.

"Sounds good, Daymon?" Kaneki looks at Daymon and his hatred towards her has been halted temporarily but there's still visible signs of disgust on his face.

"I think one of Azmith's underlings," Daymon taps the table with her long fingernails "Stephany I think, would be good. She has some knowledge on the project and leadership skills."

"Okay, then, who would take Kino's place?" Kaneki crosses his fingers and moves them around almost like he was nervous.

"A ghoul from-" Daymon is cut by Rize's voice filling Kaneki's thoughts and he can't hear the rest.

"Kaneki, I'm back" Rize sits in Kino's place and she creeps closer to Kaneki by the second.

"No, I know her, she's not-" Moth's distant voice is interrupted by the voice from Kaneki's shadow. It feels so unreal to not be able to hear the people properly in the same room.

"Hello! The king is back again! Did'ya miss me?" The voice sits on the table in front of Kaneki and blocks his view almost completely. He can partly see Rize on the left and on his right Moth.

"Leader?" Bug's voice is faint and it's mixed in the other voices that are most likely only in Kaneki's head.

Then all of it goes black. Every voice in the room goes mute, it's calm.

 

* * *

 

 

"Leader?" Bug is beside his bed, he's connected to wires and to an IV drip.

"What... happened?" Kaneki touches his head and there's a lump on his head.

"--- fainted --- you fell --" Kaneki only hears parts of the story. 

"Good to have you back" Rize is close to his body, he can almost feel her heat and her skin touching him. She plays with Kaneki's nose, swipes up and down on the bridge of the nose with her delicate and slim index and the touch feels like it could kill his thoughts in one second if she just wanted. She could make him forget everything, she holds the power over him.

He is devoured by her, he falls to the darkness that now surrounds him. Deep and low sounds,  _calming_   _sounds_ , make him dreamy and he remembers his first encounter with Rize. 

"So you  _do_ remember that." Rize's arms come from behind and wrap around his chest as she presses her chin against his collarbone. It should be a warm gesture to symbol closeness but in Kaneki's mind it's the other way around; he is further away than he has ever been.

The finger sink into his skin, piercing him like thorns for not returning the warmth. 

He sees himself from another perspective, talking to Rize while being strangled by Rize.

"You were so innocent.  _So pure_." Rize's whisper echoes deep in his mind as her cold lips brush across his ear. Her violet hair paints his left arm as it bends on the folds of their clothing.

"You smelled so good, like a delicious buffet table laid into a flower garden" She whiffs his scent and her tongue licks her lips "But don't get me wrong, you're still delicious, maybe even better now" Cold fingers slide down his face. The sensation is both threatening and blissful.

 

* * *

 

"What are you doing?" Moth asks Daymon who strokes Kaneki's hair beside his bed.

"What's it lookest like?"

"Like you're measuring him, thinking how he should be prepared" Moth stays calmly beside the doorway and leans on the door frame.

"What if I am? What ar'ye gonna doth?" 

"What is your purpose?"

"Kaneki"

"His place?" 

"Him"

Moth ponders on the answer. Then he checks the corridor.

"I think we have similar interests here," Moth sighs "we should discuss this somewhere else"

"The cafe nearby at 2:30 pm tomorrow. Sounds good to ye?" 

Moth nods and leaves.

 

* * *

 

Kaneki's finally awake. He's in a room in the medical ward. He rips his drips and wires off and gets up. The light blue gown that is usually associated with hospitals and their sterile environment almost smells like disinfectant. He sees his old clothes on a chair and he changes before heading out. He encounters a nurse who advises him to stay a little longer, he pushes her aside and continues to walk to his own office. 

He vaguely remembers the route, he has come here during the renovations and even after them because of Kino's exhibition show. He goes past the counter where three ghouls and some humans work on the papers and calls. He takes the elevator. He's in the second highest floor and he needs to go to the second lowest. There's some workers on the elevator, they recognize him and give him some space. He presses the B3-button and the lift starts making some noises, creaking and screeching noises, as it goes up.

"Did you have nice day at the office?" Kaneki tries to chatter. His back is facing the workers but he can smell the distress on them.

"Um.. it's half past seven in the morning, sir?" One dares to break the awkward silence.

"It is?" Kaneki turns around to see their faces, they try to go as far as they can from him.

 _Bling!_  The elevator stops and the doors open, a hot breeze flows to the elevator as Kaneki steps out, his short bangs flow in front of his eyes, he wipes them to the side with a swift movement of his hand. The cement walls have a rough surface as always. He walks along the corridor, breathing in the fumes of other ghouls, every familiar scent he can whiff in to make him adjusted to the moment. The creaks of the doors are loud, his steps can be heard in the mute corridor. His own office. A place he belongs to, a place people need him to be. 

"I'm back" He whispers quietly to himself as his steps get near the chair. 

The soft padding, it perfectly frames his muscular figure that now sits on it. 

 

-

 

The phone rings. He slowly wakes up from his slumber to answer. 

"Who the fuck interrupts my sleep?" He growls to the phone.

"B-b- ...it's Bug. Um, I was just calling to make sure you're in your office, sir. I'm bringing in today's documents for you to oversee" 

"Oh... sure" Kaneki breathes calmly.

 

* * *

 

 

It's crowded in Tokyo, each and every mesh of limbs try to pursue the unknown place of serenity but all in vain. Kaneki keeps away from all that, sitting on top of a high building and going through each face that seems even slightly familiar. 

"I should've known that at least Daymon is up to no good, but Moth? That's new and unexpected" He mutters to himself and smiles to his thoughts. 

_At least I know about their plan._

The cold wind wheezes and it passes through Kaneki's bones right to the middle of his heart. His jacket was long but not warm enough to shelter him.

"What're you looking at?" Rize appears behind him, wraps her arms around his waist as she sits close to him. Her warmth is nothing but fantasy that has leaked to reality.

"Nothing much..." Kaneki's voice is a little hoarse.

"There's always something going on and I'm inside your head,  _what do you think, do I know what's going on?_ " Rize's arms aggressively tighten as she violently presses her head on Kaneki's left shoulder.

"You  _know_ , I don't have to explain" Kaneki searches for a scarf in his bag. When he finally finds the black fabric he pulls it out and ties it around his cold neck.

"You're kinda bluish" Rize twiddles with a strand of his hair as she searches for his gaze.

"We need to go" Kaneki stands up, Rize still attached to him. He picks his bag and leaves without giving Rize any thought. 

_He has set his eyes on a prey._

 

* * *

 

 

He tugs on his collar to cover his face, he blends to the shadows in the nearby alley that's earshot away from the cafe where  _they_  meet. 

"It's really cold today isn't it?" Rize tries to keep up the chat, she clings to Kaneki's body that is powered by adrenaline.

"Get off me" He whispers to her with a low voice that breathes aggressive behavior.

He crunches behind a fence that separates the terrace and the alley. Moth and Daymon have a table that locates in the corner of the fence and the cafe building. They have a Daymon has a clear sight to the cafe through the large window, behind it is tables with couches and people in them, cuddling in warmth and drinking hot chocolate.

Kaneki's breath steams a little on the cold day, he covers his mouth with his black scarf so he wouldn't get caught. He's close to them and he sees some parts of them through the gaps of the fence.

"Hiya been?" Daymon starts with a friendly chat.

"Nothing much, you?" Moth counters with a lame response.

"So, I must ask thou, what's in it for thee?" 

"For you it's his body, for me it's his place" 

"Fare deal. So, what's the plan here?" Daymon sips her cafe latte.

"I already did Azmith, and I assume it was you who-" 

"did Kino? Yes indeed" Daymon nods to the pleasant memory.

"So next is  _Bug_. You attack him head-on, I support, how's that sound?" Moth tugs on his chocolate brown winter coat and crosses his arms.

"Dealie, when 'n' where?" Daymon changes her sitting posture so that she now leans towards Moth over her hot cup of coffee.

"I've tracked him for awhile now so I know he leaves the bureau early on Tuesdays and goes to a certain location, I think that's the time we strike"

"On Tuesday? Ok, tell me more"

"He leaves 2:25 pm. and drives his car to this place called 'DeerDen' and he leaves about 6 to 8 pm. So we attack him during that time, okay?"

"K."

 

* * *

 

The clock is ticking, time is moving on. It's Tuesday. Kaneki tries to come up with a decent explanation for Bug to stay here longer but every sentence cuts too short with lies. 

"Just say that he is going to die otherwise" Rize sits on Kaneki's desk and as close as possible to Kaneki. Her purple hair reaches the desks surface and the ends of the strands curl up a bit. She has glasses on and a small book in her arms. 

"I doubt he doesn't panic, he loves life too much not to" Kaneki mumbles. He leans on his arms and frowns.

"Just three hours left" A drop of sweat drips down on his chin and then falls off to the desk "Just when I learned to tolerate him"

"You're panicking" Rize extends her arm to offer him a hug but doesn't get a positive response.

"That obvious, tell me something I don't know" He taps the desks surface with his fingers.

"Isn't it obvious **I can't**? I'm  _in your head_. All I can do is repeat the same old tricks"

"Then just tell me what to do" Kaneki's voice is loud, it must seem like he's insane now.

"Um.. sir?" The door creaks, it was ajar. Bug steps in with two careful steps.

"Oh, hi Bug" Kaneki's vision blurs temporarily due to a sweat drop falling into his eye.

"Were you talking with someone or...?" He is too scared to finish his question.

Kaneki moves around uncomfortably and leans forward. He smiles for Bug and tries to say with it ' _Don't continue, it's dangerous'_

"I have one task for you before you leave" 

 

* * *

 

"Shouldn't you look after him?" Rize tilts her head. 

"If he's not where they think he is, it's enough" Kaneki goes through papers that summarize the nourishment section's project that was discarded due to two unfortunate disappearances.

"What if he was a decoy?" Rize sits even closer and the voice appears behind her.

"I can be your decoy!" It yells.

"Shut up!" Kaneki snaps and whacks the table, the papers scatter around his fist.

"Yes, shut up you peasant" Rize stands up and crosses her arms in disagreement.

The voice quickly fades away in embarrassment.

Kaneki sorts the papers out in order and staples them into a neat document. Then he  _smells_ _something._

"Why is there a freaking shampoo scent lingering around? Daymon's not suppose to be in this building right now!" Kaneki whispers to Rize but he could've just stayed quiet and Rize would know about it.

"I told you Bug was a decoy" Only Rizes irritating voice remains as her body disappears to deepest parts of Kanekis mind.

"Fuck!" Kaneki stands up and tries to do so quietly. He sneaks close to the door and listens as the distant steps creep on the same floor.

_They're going to the basement floor, Rolf's there._

He opens the door and stays near the wall as he proceeds to the staircase. 

"First floor, first floor -fuck!" He mumbles to himself when he runs the stairs down. His breathing is getting shorter and shorter by the second. 

 

-

 

He's in the first floor, the air around here is so condensed that it drills through the smallest splits in his body and forces him to become part of this world.

"Gotta-" He takes a deep breath "-save Rolf" he leans on the wall and his hands are like sandpaper against rough surface.

After his breathing has calmed down a bit, he activates his kakugan and glides towards the nightmare.

 

* * *

 


	4. Temptation, betrayal, and mistrust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki tries to find out who exactly is plotting against him. He thinks he has found a guilty person but things won't turn out his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, sorry about that. And this concludes this "book", next one is on its way.

* * *

 

 

"Why are you here? Want to have a spar or something?" Rolf is in his usual, black t-shirt and gray jeans and bow-necklace hanging from his muscular neck, his fists punch the punching bag but they halt before Kaneki.

"Have you seen... Daymon or Moth?" Kaneki deactivates his kakugan and searches the training hall with his gaze.

"No, haven't seen" His foreheads wrinkles deepen as he raises his brows, and the corners of his mouth lean down, in daze.

"Really? I could've sworn I saw her coming here" 

"Why would she be down here? Moth I can understand but her? She isn't interested in fighting" Rolf sits down on the floor and grasps the towel nearby to wipe his sweat off.

"Well, just keep your guard up for now" Kaneki searches the room one more time before leaving.

"What do mean by-?"

 

* * *

 

He sits behind his desk. A pair of familiar shoes step to the door. 

"Knew ye would be lookin' for me" She leans on the frames with a confident pose: right hand on her hips and other sagging straight close to the body, her neck curved and head leaning back, one leg bent a bit to express her soft calmness that isn't worried one bit. Her outfit is now tight-fitting black dress that has a luxurious silk texture, it's long enough to resist but short enough for temptation, collar goes around her shoulders and ends in her cleavage. Her hair is open and flowing and only two simple accessories perfect her look: golden earrings that have dark green to gray colored stones embedded in them, and a shining gold necklace that has swirls and curves to it, just like her hair.

"What is this about?" Kaneki leans into his arm, oddly relaxed.

"Nothing too serious, dearie, just a whim of mine" She creeps closer.

"No, I can't tolerate this" Kaneki gets up and pushes her away before she gets any further. Her scent invades the air and the strong minty flavour almost makes his eyes water. 

"Out! Now!" He gives her a final push and she's outside. He quickly closes the door in front of her.

"That's just childish! Art thou a lil' girl in _love_ or something?" She chuckles but leaves soon after. 

 

-

 

"What was that?" Kaneki sighs loudly and sits down. 

_Wasn't she gonna kill Rolf? Why didn't she do it? Because she was found out?_

His fingers brush through his hair, maybe searching for answers.

Her minty scent lingers in air for a bit longer before dissipating. The clock ticks like nothing ever happened.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, this is Stephany from nourishment section, the temporary leader of the section. Please call me when you can - _beep-_ " The voice message says in Kaneki's phone.

"Shouldn't you call her?" Rolf sits on the other side of the table.

"Eh, it's fine, she can handle it herself. Now, where were we?" Kaneki turns the phone to mute with a swift hand movement, then he establishes long eye-contact with Rolf.

"Shouldn't I-?" Rolf starts shaky but is cut off my Kaneki.

"No," His voice is like nuclear fallout, poisonous to breathe "What we are to do here has  **nothing** to do with him; he doesn't need to be involved if not necessary"

"What are we-?" 

"Interrogation, _oh_ , but not you. Her." He points towards the odd lump in the corner. "No one is going to know, but we need to make this quick. The questions are on the paper that is in front of you"

"I don't think she's-"

"I think she is. That's why we're interrogating"

He stands up and goes close to the lump and removes the sackcloth from her. 

"Why do you?! No! Don't! I don't know anything, it's Moth! Moth!" Her screams echo in the chamber that doesn't let any sounds out.

"Then why did you work under him?" 

"I- I needed guidance! You didn't give me that!" 

"A strong woman like yourself?  _You? You needed guidance?"_ Kaneki is close to her face, her pitch-black eyes trying to find some answers in his dead tired eyes.

"I- I-..." She doesn't continue but tears run along her pale cheeks. 

"Please don't,  _please don't"_ She pleads and tilts her head forward to cover her pity face.

"Maybe she doesn't know-" Rolf moves awkwardly in his chair and gives her the worried look

 **"Are you part of it? This all?"** Kaneki says to Rolf but gets impatient and his hand collides with her pale cheek. A red patch appears. The woman cries even more.

"No! I'm not! I don't know anything about it! But first we should calm down and talk this through" Rolf stands up, his palms lean on the table.

" **W** **hat part of this you don't understand?"**

"PLEASE CALM DOWN!" Rolf sprints closer and tries to pin him down but Kaneki is too strong and too absorbed in his own thoughts. 

Kaneki's fist hits Rolf's jaw and Rolf is stunned for a moment. Kaneki goes to the bunker's heavy metal door and turns the levers and pushes it open, frantically trying to make it go faster but without any results. He runs in the corridor, aimlessly at first, but then he remembers the third door to outside. 

" _There! We see him! Catch him!"_ The sounds bounce from the walls, it's like they're everywhere.

He makes it to the door, just before the guards see him. 

_He's out._

 

* * *

 

It's raining, a lot. His hood is up but it's soaked, and the water runs down his face, what makes his hair glue onto his skin. 

It's freezing, every inch of his body is shaking, shivering from hypothermia or from adrenaline.

His kagune is swinging back and forth, agitated, in his back. It needs something -or someone, to kill.

 

-

 

The sky is like the dark void that spits out tears of lost and hopeless souls. And maybe Kaneki is like them, but bound to earth, unable to move forward. 

And not being able to move in life, it makes him furious and dangerous. 

" **why** **CAN't I just DIE?!** " He shouts into the air and nothing answers back.

 

His feet leap trough the mounds, and before he realizes, he is running, feet burning, heart racing, and eyes blurry.

 

-

 

The city, filled with movement, stressed atmosphere, and noises that make the brains filled with dark thoughts.

 

Every bystander, every _human_ has those anxious, panicked eyes that follow Kaneki's movements and kagune. They move out, giving him more space than needed. Some are on their phones, talking fast and unclear and trying to gasp for oxygen between short sentences.

 

_Are they-? Most likely yes._

 

Kaneki goes though with steady leaps while looking at the tall buildings around him. 

 

Something hits him. He's on the ground and the first thing he sees is bright yellow umbrella, inches away from his face.

"Sorry! I'm really sorry about that! Are you okay?" A girl's voice says and the umbrella moves away from his face, revealing a young girl with short, dark hair that is slightly wet, a cute pair of huge eyes, sparkling from the city lights, and a long red cloak that almost covers her pantyhose-coated knees. 

Before realizing it, something impales her, a bloody spike that Kaneki recognizes as his own.

_Screams, they fill the moist air with terror._

Everyone runs away, shaking their heads, not believing what just happened.  _Panic_ , it arises from within their hearts and eats away this moment, every human is now only a panic-driven wild animal, not knowing what to do, they run around aimlessly. 

 

Kaneki, he bends over the body and the cold slowly conceals her body in it's embracement. 

She gasps for help but only blood gushes out from her lungs, her arms reaching for help but without receiving any they drop down on her eyes as she weeps in pain and agony. 

 

His hand extends and grabs the girl's arm, giving her comfort before his teeth sink into her skin. The crack sounds from her bones breaking, the blood gushing out, and tendons snapping in half in her wrist while the spikes form a wall between Kaneki and reality.

_Now there's only him in the world._

 

* * *

 

 

Thorns, thorns through his body, piercing his skin. It really  **hurts**. 

"Is this real?" He stays calmly in his place, still eating the girl. Every sound around him - **no,** there's no sound. The lights have been dimmed into distant stars. There's blood.  **Blood that is his.** His blood, splattered around him, paints the concrete like a crime scene. Like roses, bloody roses. 

There's people around him, closer than the bystanders, they're holding or wearing things that... pierces his heart and body.  _Literally._

Eight people in a circle around him, standing at a distance, staring down on him with disgust flaming through their eyes. 

_He's captured. Trapped. Alone._

 

* * *

He wakes up in a room, a room with four walls and a metal door. It's a cramped space, only a meter (3,2 feet) distance to the wall on his right and same with the other side, same with all the directions. The room is a square, designed for isolation of ghouls. 

His hands are tied, tucked around him to the back. The restrains are too tight, they bite into his skin and when he moves, the fabric leaves red marks all over his body.

It's hard to breathe, and think. 

It's like he's underwater, the pressure slowly rising as he sinks deeper. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to my life circumstances at the moment, I might not be able to write as much as I have, but I still will write, and continue this series. 
> 
> Even though there's not many readers, but I just like writing, so it's okay, everything's going to be okay. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ~(˘▾˘~)

**Author's Note:**

> The 'leave the world better than you found it' I grabbed while I was watching supernatural (12x18), not exactly like that but you get it.


End file.
